It is easier said than done to say no, especially during the holiday season. If you are already a parent you understand the enormous pressure to do ALL the things. The events at school and around town, purchase clothes/gifts/supplies for each holiday, do the Pinterest crafts, and of course see ALL of the family.
What would happen if you said no to a lot of this? What emotions rise up? You probably think your child will miss out, your family will get mad, and you will have FOMO.
Maybe that is all true…but perhaps it isn’t!
Being a parent you are responsible for a lot. You are spread thin. What if instead of continuing to spread yourself thin in an attempt to fulfill all the self-created or culture-created obligations, you instead just picked a few and did those REALLY well?
Wouldn’t it be better to be FULLY in the moment of 2 or 3 things rather than barely present at a bunch?
When you look back at your childhood you probably only have a few key memories. We don’t remember a lot. Therefore I have a challenge for you.
When a holiday is coming up (Like Thanksgiving/Christmas right now), have your family fill out these questions.
- What are the top 2 things you want to do?
- How much will we budget for this holiday?
- What friends/family are important to see?
- What do we need to do to be content and present?
- How many pictures/videos do I actually need to take? What if I didn’t take any!?
Then stick to it. Make sure these items are the priority and if you have time and the budget to do more, great.
I am sure there will be people who get upset with you and maybe you will have a bit of fomo but that is ok because you can always adjust next time. Every season of our life is unique and we need to consistently reevaluate how we are spending our time. If you are someone who is stuck in the same cycle of doing the same activities and seeing the same people each holiday, try to change it up. Of course, be careful you don’t burn bridges or hurt feelings. If you have a family/friend group who is extra sensitive to change, start slowly. Let them know your goals and reassure them you care, then let it go. You will never please everyone.
Will you try this challenge? I personally find putting boundaries around family and my phone the hardest. A few years ago, I started putting up more boundaries around my time, and let me tell you, IT HAS HELPED SO MUCH. I’m thankful that I have slowed down and focused on my little family more.
Want more tips like this? Looking for someone to help you organize all the things?
My name is Ellie Kinard. I am a Pregnancy and Postpartum Coach and I work 1:1 with women to help them organize their lives better by providing educational programs and 1:1 mentorship. Click HERE to book a consultation.
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